And this is supposed to make me feel safe?

I am referring, of course, to the behavior of my dog. The neurotic, unfathomable behavior of my hyperactive dog.

It began last summer. During the night, whenever the air conditioner cycled on, the dog would spring up from her bed (located on the floor next to my side of the bed) and bolt from the room, shaking her head and flopping her ears the entire way. And she has some seriously floppy ears.

Our solution was to buy her a new bed (she had been sleeping on the cast-off cushion from a rattan loveseat) and put it on the landing of the stairs. There may have been other reasons for this, as well, but they do not matter one whit anymore.

In the last two weeks or so, we have started running the AC again. Every night, whether the rest of the family is still up or is abed, when the downstairs unit cycles on, she bolts. Head shaking, ears flopping.

It's like living inside The Sixth Sense.

If I do happen to be in bed at the time, she plants herself at my elbow and looks at me. She cannot speak, of course, but the message is clear, "They're baaaaa-aaaack...."

Oh, Scout. Go to bed.